Day 8 - Noble Intentions

Day 8 -

I am so fucking hung over. Sweet fuck, it feels like I've been steamrolled. I'm looking over what I wrote in my journal last night and holy shit, I get angsty when I get drunk off my sweet perky ass.

I woke up this morning with Lily curled up in my arms and that was nice. Damned Nalisk are so warm. It's kind of normal for them, I guess. She was all but latched onto me, holding so tight. I could have moved, but I didn't want to. 

Not with… what was on my mind.

I feel better after yesterday. I got all my crying done.

I had me a realization lying there in bed with that stranger. I might be more of a cold hearted bitch than I realized. All it took was a bottle of booze, some crying, drunken sex, and a hangover to make me feel better about outright killing half a dozen people. I mean, I went a little schizo and talked to a corpse for half an hour but I count that as therapeutic or something.

I don't feel guilt really, not anymore.

I did good.

Anyway, enough about me.

Lily is nice. She cooked me and Marty breakfast. I sat her down and had a talk with her about some things.

She was a slave for ten years, taken from her family when she was fourteen because they couldn't pay back a friggin' loan shark. She found out later that her family wasn't too broken up over it because they just… moved on. Took all the pictures of her down and pretended she didn't exist. The slavers brought her by and showed her that so she wouldn't try to run. She had nowhere to run to.

She said they used her for things. Theft, sex, lying to enemies, spying on enemies. She gained trust, made friends, learned the hard way that the universe ain't friendly to no one once you step the fuck off of the rocky soil of whatever shithole planet you're born on. The law ain't as awesome in space, you see. It's harder to enforce things out here and bad things happen to good people. You can hide crimes by throwing a ship into a sun. You can kill people, jettison their bodies. Burn hard drives, scatter storage crystals, overload engines…

Yeesh, I sound like a pirate or something.

The point is, she learned that space is cold in more ways than one.

I feel bad for her, being used like that since she was… sixteen, she said. At least… for the sex. Nalisk reach sexual maturity at about fourteen. Figuring in Universal Space Time or whatever, that's… sixteen, back on Earth. It's tough to figure out. Point is, she was young, and started getting screwed too many ways too young.

That right there evaporated a whole mess of my guilt about the killing. They raped a girl who they used like a tool, a slave.

I tell her I understand that she doesn't know much different. That's why she crawled into bed with me when I was drunk. I feel a bit of guilt over that, but she's smart enough to know the difference between having sex when you want it and being forced. I still feel like she's not all right in the head with the sex stuff, but… well, I've told her she should have sex when she wants to. I told her she'll be paid for work on my damned ship.

I ain't a slave driver. I ain't gonna be like them. No way in hell.

She cried when I told her about the pay, told her she was free to do anything she liked as long as it didn't damage or alter the ship. I told her that her quarters are her quarters, I'll be providing her a stipend for picking up clothing and some things she might want.

I have no fuckin' idea what to do with some cute chick crying on my shoulder. For starters, I was weirdly aroused. Secondly… I was raised by a giant bug. What the fuck do I know about crying? Elliot was a great guy, and a great pseudo-dad, but his comfort was always very logical and blunt. He never obfuscated what he was trying to say, he just said it. And uh… the bugs don't cry.

I guess I know where I get that all from.

We got to talking next about what she'll do on the ship.

I told her it was her responsibility to keep the bar stocked with good booze, which she said she knew a shitload about. She can give Marty a list and he'll give her the funds to procure it, or he'll add it to the supply list that will be given at places that are just auto-stock stations with no actual boarding locations. The cute little thing actually asked for a pen and paper and took notes on what to do.

She told me that in return for all my kindness, and for giving her an honest job, that she could do some things for me.

For instance, she told me, she did some serious spy work for them. She knows things about fighting, about breaking into places easily, about killing. That about broke what little bit of a heart I have. I could see there in her eyes that she's killed before - and she's killed more than one person.

I ain't sure I'm gonna be able to order her to shoot, but I told her if she needs to defend herself, if someone shoots at her…

She has every damned right to shoot right back.

That was a hell of a conversation. I've got a slave girl who was… young when she was taken, but who knows enough about the world to not be totally broken into thinking she has to be property. I guess that's good. I guess a space station is a hard place to truly isolate someone. Maybe I just don't know enough. Maybe I don't understand shit.

I'm doing the best I can, here.

She told me she could show me what she knows about fighting.

I decided she wouldn't handle fighting me well.

Marty's good at fighting, but he's too strong though, so… I said fuck it, and I fought her.

God damn can that girl move. She's fast, faster than I'll ever be thanks to my size and weight and whatnot. I thought I'd take her in an instant, but after about ten minutes I realized she was playing with me. Enjoying herself.

I told her to get serious.

In under a minute, she was on my back with a knife pressed to my throat.

My knife, from my belt.

It occurred to me that maybe she was a little touched in the head about the whole property thing, there in that moment. Partly because she could have escaped at any time with these kinds of skills. Problem would have been finding a ship with someone on it who cared, so there's that - and removing the poison implant.

But she also asked me right in my ear, and I felt a little sick to my stomach at the same time as a little more than a little aroused, a very simple question.

"Are you satisfied, Mistress?"

Oh god, don't even get me started on the shit that did to my libido.

But I ain't going to take advantage of her psychology like that. Gonna make it full on perfectly clear that she doesn't gotta be like that and I'm going to make it clear to Marty that if he takes advantage of her shit is going to be real bad for him.

It might take some time, but she'll understand her body belongs to her, and not to me or anyone else.

I plan to talk to her in a few minutes about it.

Okay, what the Hell?

So I talked to her.

It went… well?

She said she was sorry for making me uncomfortable. I said I was sorry for… something. For being weird about things. I don't know how her mind works, you know?

Well, you don't, obviously.

You're a microphone.

So we worked some things out. She's got the picture that I don't own her. I explained carefully to her that she should think about it like she owns her. She made the decision to try to get me out of there alive because I was nice to her. I told her it's like that. Do good things to do good, do bad things to bad people, et cetera.

She's bright. She understood.

She then calmly explained to me that she ran with a rich crowd, and her family prior to needing to borrow money had been pretty rich. Employees of the rich people call them Mistress, or Master, or some weird S&M crap like that. It's a respect thing. She wasn't saying I own her.

She was saying she respects me as her superior. She said it because I hired her.

… so she's gonna keep calling me Mistress, and that's just uh… that's pretty okay with me.

I am a fucked up person.

Worse yet, the intuitive little wench told me that she knew what it did to me, and she was amused as Hell by it.

"Really, I promise you. I understand all of that. I didn't want to interrupt all your frantic explanations… I'm not used to being allowed to speak whenever I want. So, if that's all… is there anything else you need from me, Mistress?"

Now, I don't know if she's fucking with me about the Mistress thing or not, but I know she's going to be a tough one to trust very much. I'll have to see how things go. She could have been honest about the not being used to talking freely, and that wouldn't surprise me… but I know this.

She might be fucking with me, she might not… but she's definitely fucking me.

I am just the worst.

But she's right over there, awake and reading an ebook, and she's naked and she's in my bed and…

My life is very suddenly weird.

But I'm going to put on a tank top and panties, go talk to Marty, and then I'm coming back and I'm going to sleep in that bed with her because… because she's latched onto me, and I'm lonely and she makes me feel better and Elliot is dead and I hardly know what the fuck I'm doing.

I'm going to go with it.

If Elliot taught me anything, he taught me that if you fight against the currant of the universe, you'll live your life marching against the flow and nothing will ever go right. If you steer yourself in that currant, to get to where you want… even if it's slower, you'll still get there.

I'm not sure I said that right, and but I understand it just fine. 

… how the fuck does she manage to smell so good when she's only been using the generic soap and shampoo we have on this ship?

For that matter, why does she love my dad's cologne so much?

… Maddie Winter here, asking the hard hitting questions.

Anyway, recorder, microphone thing, I gotta go. She's giving me bedroom eyes and I really, really need to talk to Marty so I'm going to get out of here before she winds up face down between my legs again.

I'm so lost.

Day Seven - Drunk, Tanked

Day Seven -

Okay so I'm really drunk.

I also couldn't find the… fucking… recorder thing. The microphone. I know the ship has on board mics in every room but fuck that, I like my private until I die journals being private and you gotta speak up for the in room microphones.

I canst stop giggling, and I feel bad about that. I went down to see Elliot. His frozen insectoid face was there waiting for me, just visible through the frost covered glass. I told him I had a nightmare.

It was pretty bad.

I shot that fucking bug in the space station when I rescued Lily from slavery. That fuckin bug who collapsed my lung and shot my arm with a laser.

What a prick.

But in this nightmare I was right there, and it wasn't the bug I shot. When I popped up it was Elliot, and he fuckin skittered up to me and stood over me as I died and told me that it was my fault. It was my fault he died. I killed a bunch of men and I was just a psychopath.

I can't stop crying.

Elliot, you always told me that this is a cold ugly universe and if someone shoots at me I have the right to shoot back. They were gonna hurt me, Elliot.

Lily woke up and she was sleepy. She tried to tell me I couldn't be sad because it was her fault. I was already pretty drunk at that point. I sat at the bar with her pouring me drinks, Elliot. She listened to me cry about what a monster I am. She listened to me talk about you raising me after mom… died.

Hard to type. Glass of whiskey in my hand. Cig in my mouth. Youd be disappointed Elliot.

I told her about how great of a dad you were. I told her how you taught me to fight and stuff. She said you sounded wonderful.

Elliot, I always came to you when I was lost.

Now I've killed a mess of people and I don't know if I can keep doing this. Is this what I have to do to get you home? Is this what being an independent pilot is?

I hate expensive bars. I ain't never goin to a expensive bar again Elliot. I'll do what I gotta do, I'll go placed I don't wanna go, but I ain't gonna play at being a rich person again.

Lily's like…

Ten feet away.

She's in my bed. I have vague memories of having sex, but I just don't know for sure. I know I'm going to go pass out with here soon because she smells nice and she's warm and that's all I can think about. I just want to hold someone and feel like I did good.

I had a choice, Elliot.

They wouldn't have killed her if I'd left her there. Maybe hurt her but not killed her. I… I didn't have to kill all those men. Maybe some survived, but looking at my gun's camera, I'm pretty sure at least five are dead.

You always said 'Little woman, you gotta know. You're gonna have to make a choice every time you pull the trigger.'

It was so easy to make that choice. So damned easy. I just pulled the trigger and killed them.

I'm afraid, Elliot. Afraid I'm going to wind up just like my dad.

Now that I say that, I realize I ain't even sure what he was like.

I'm sorry, Elliot.

I'm so sorry if I'm disappointing you. I'm just trying to do whatever I can.

Just trying to do what's right.

Write more tomorrow when I'm sober. Or record more. Hell if I know. Lily's gonna need training and I ain't sure what to train her in. Is she a killer like me? I ain't sure.

Species Files - Salk'Na'Loa

//Accessing Scientific Database//

//Winter Saber Scientific Database//

//Accessing Species Library//

//Accessing Scientific File - Salk'Na'Loa//

The Salk'Na'Loa are a unique species in the sense that they are a blend of several species.

The story is complex, but the summary is simple. Their original planet was extremely, uncommonly rich in a special element that occurs exceedingly rarely and to this point cannot be fabricated. This element is necessary for true FTL travel, however it was rendered obsolete by the Dimensional Compression Field Generation Beacon system. Each beacon on a cycle creates a dimensional fold and the punctures it with a wormhole, to put it extremely simply.

At any rate.

The Salk's planet was essentially destroyed to steal all of this element. About twenty thousand of their species fled the planet before the invasion fleet arrived. Their ship was what is currently referred to in Universal as an Eden or a Titania class terraforming carrier - or, the equivalent.

They crashed on Earth, and through a complex set of circumstances wound up blending their DnA with the humans with a now universally illegal mutagenic serum. When they began to interbreed, the two species became one. 

Suffice to say, the humans were mad, but there were complex circumstances that led to them allying, so on, so forth…

With their background out of the way, time to discuss their characteristics.

Salk'Na'Loa, or more commonly just Salk, are complex creatures with large genetic diversity. For instance, most possess tails, but many do not. Some possess tusks pointed up from their lower jaws, others do not.

Their only skin colors are green and blue, though the lightness and darkness varies. Their skin is tougher than most species, and has an odd texture to it. While most would expect this toughness to limit their range of motion, the Salk possess a serious amount of strength almost one hundred percent of the time. They are genetically predisposed to be muscular.

Salk females may or may not possess breasts, though all Salk do have nipples. Humanized Salk females are much more common than less humanized Salk, as are humanized Salk males. Often, if a female Salk does not possess breasts, she will likely have no hair what so ever, but instead have spines that are typically chemically softened and blunted to prevent damage to clothing. Spines are typically the same color as their eyes, though a darker shade.

Salk eyes are ninety-nine percent of the time brilliant, vibrant colors. Brown eyes, in fact, occur in less than .1 percent of the Salk population. Hair colors vary from green to brown to white to blue and onward, seeming to know no limit to the array of hues that the hair can be.

Fingernails are thick, long, claw like, though are usually cut short for technological ease of use in the modern world.  Often, Salk ears are pointed, and they usually possess a wide, flat nose though thinner, more humanized noses are not excessively uncommon.

The Salk are fond of piercings, and smoking is extremely common in their culture due to the intensity of the effect nicotine has on their performance and focus. Sexuality among Salk is relatively simple. Sex is common and not something to be concerned about, and is often done among friends simply for fun or bonding experiences. This is believed to be because Salk females are only able to produce two eggs a year in their wombs, which must be fertilized and partially developed before they lay the egg, where it must be incubated for a period of time until hatching a newborn Salk.

It is extremely common for Salk females to induce oviposition via a medication in order to prevent them from having the one month fertility period. This complex system of reproductions means that accidental pregnancies are rare.

It should be noted in terms of sexual characteristics, Salk's genitals resemble largely those of the now non-existent humans, safe for prehensility and increased length on the males who tend to possess genitals that taper to a thin point. Interestingly, Salk female genitals are almost completely humanized even in non-humanized Salk - for unknown reasons.

Salk can possess a secondary heart, which is located near the first. In Salk who do not possess a secondary heart, they have a slightly greater lung capacity on one side and are less likely to suffer from asthma related symptoms due to this lung capacity and freedom of motion.

Salk's pain sensing nerves operate differently than a lot of species. While they do feel pain, it is not a debilitating experience for them, making them vicious and capable warriors even when grievously wounded. However, this also means Salk must be careful to properly assess the seriousness of their wounds. An unfortunate level of masochism is not uncommon, though psychological databases should be consulted for further information.

It is important to note that Salk heal at a rate approximately twice that of human beings. This is a forced genetic change that was made synthetically, and is common in most species. 

However, due to the Salk's difficulty in being injured seriously by conventional weapons such as projectiles of low velocity or blades that are not plasma or high speed, this means Salk soldiers tend to be highly valued.

More complex information regarding medication an poison effectiveness and common surgical procedures on Salk can be located in the Advanced Medicine Database.

//Logging Off//

Day Three- Funeral Lily

Day 3 -

I didn't get to write yesterday, or record, but shit all happened so I'll start with today. Marty informed me he could use the drone bay to deal with some functions of the ship, but we were in the shit as far as crew went. One Engineer plus a skilled and heavily trained captain does not a cruiser crew make. I figure since we're at Lozious, I'll use the standard engines to carry our ponderous metal ass to the Lozious Entertainment Space Station. LESS is a big place, where a lot of stuff happens and you can find everything from whores of all genders and species to people looking for work to entertainment.

Two things are of interest there.

Whores and people looking for work.

I'll record more when I'm done at the station. It's… four AM Universal Standard Time. Slept for… three hours. That's more than normal…

Step by step. This is telling a story, right? So I should go step by step.

Marty decided to stick around the ship, so I got dressed up in my most captain-y attire - so, black pants, a decent bra, a tanktop, a short leather jacket and a pair of suspenders. Of course, I also put a thick leather band around the base of my tail as always, trailing two pieces of purple cloth.

Girl's gotta be stylish, right?

Maybe I was just desperate for some contact other than the usually near silent Marty. Maybe I was hoping for someone to fuck to take my mind off of… my cargo. I don't know what I was hoping for, but I made sure I looked good.

Right before I left my room, I… I stared at Dad's cologne for a while. Dad was a pirate. He banged my mom, fertilized her egg, and then just… fucked off. She could have just broken the shell after laying it and not had a kid, but mom wasn't like that. She was too good for him, by a long shot. I don't know if I'm more like her or more like him, but I know I always kind of wished I knew him even though he broke mom's heart.

I spritzed cologne on my wrists and rubbed it on my neck, then gave a few sprits to my shirt. It smells really god damned nice when it's not overpoweringly strong.

Marty handled the docking while I got ready. He's not asked a ton of questions about me being sort of rich. He knew about dad, but I didn't tell him about my inheritance. He's always been good about just… not pushing things.

Stepping off into the primary docking area was boring as shit, instead of exciting as I expected. It was just a short hallway leading from the platform and clamping system to the hub. It was smokey as shit in the hub, so I took my time to light my own cig. Salk cigs are bigger than a lot of species, cause we're kind of huge.

It should be noted that I was smart enough to remember my laser pistol, a decent communicator, and a med-kit because I'm one paranoid bitch sometimes.

Down the hallway from the hub, I reached the place that wasn't crap. There were species of every kind present, except for the Nausso because those guys are kind of pricks and people don't usually allow them in places. Shops too, and bars and restaurants. The way the station is designed is pretty simple. Artificial gravity processors work on a pretty controlled scale, so there is a giant zero-g open area in the center and then about two dozen circular floors with holes in the center and enormous uh… well, a lot of room.

My communicator beeped so I dragged it out and popped the hologram up to see what Marty wanted. It was a very, very long supply list. I kind of forgot we also needed to stock the ship, see. Foodstuffs, replicator pellets, fuel cells, water, stored oxygen, filter components, laser rods, plasma charge shells and so on. It also occurred to me I had forgotten my uh…

Well, I had to visit a toy store.

Space can get lonely and Marty only has so much stamina. I got my egg in me right now, all ready to be fertilized and all, so I can't have sex with a Salk anyway.

It took me three hours using the directory to find my way to every store I needed to go to and have group delivery set up - and then they told me they were backlogged and it would be two hours before they could do the delivery thing.

What's a space captain of a ship that used to belong to a pilot supposed to do with two hours to blow?

Drink, of course!

There were a lot of expensive bars and being that I grew up poor as shit working since I was fourteen on the space docks, I'd never really been to one. I could have gone to one before leaving, I had my money for a few months at least… but I didn't have time. Was too busy doing the working thing.

So I found a place that seemed nice and mentioned there were both men and women who would be either scantily clad or naked, so I did what I figured was proper and went there.

The place was nice. Had a bar that was cold black metal, which is always comfy. Stools with actual leather on top lined the bar, and there were tons of tables and chairs and things. There was a band, too, actual live musicians.

As soon as I reached the door, a big Nalisk tried to stop me. Nalisk are like… well. There's a running joke about humans, who don't exist anymore. Once upon a time, five Nalisk crash landed on the Earth, in the ocean. Four made it to shore. Spawned a whole bunch of stuff about demons in the human culture.

They're big, with black or red skin and wings and metallic golden eyes, and kind of hoof like feet with digigrade lower legs. I'd never talked to one before, but I mean, I ain't racist or anything. People's just people.

But this guy was a big dumb piece of shit.

"Hey, your type ain't allowed in here."

I laughed and held out my hand.

"Print me, man. DnA check if you want. I have more cash in my bank account than you'd believe."

He just kind of stared at me for a long moment before tugging a communicator from his pants pocket and tapped on it for a few seconds. I guess I wasn't dressed spiffy enough to look rich. I made a note of that while he navigated to  a program and then held out the phone.

I was smart enough to put ninety percent of my cash into a Universal Banking Union account, so my funds could be easily verified with prints. He went ahead and printed me, and then his eyes widened when he read the number on the screen.

"My apologies ma'am, I didn't realize."

"It's all good, man. Books and covers and not judging and all. There uh… women in there?"

He nodded.

"Women aplenty. Costly, though. Have a nice day, ma'am."

I could get used to having cash, I figure. People are awful nice when you got yourself a mess of cash.

So I headed on in, and settled on a stool by the bar. To be entirely honest, I didn't expect to get myself any strange while I was there. I wasn't even sure I could have sex without breaking down into tears again.

The bartender was a handsome guy who seemed allergic to shirts, on account of the fact that he wasn't wearing one. Cute though. If I had more time, I might have pursued him. He was another Nalisk with these adorable little horns curling around the sides of his head. He got me my whiskey after giving me a 'you're kind of hot' look.

It was good whiskey, damned good. The real kind, too, not any of the space shit. Someone made this in an actual cask on an actual planet. Smoked a cig down, drank enough to start feeling a buzz. I shouldn't god damn drink in public though because I get dumb fast when I get tipsy.

I'm talking giggly idiot level dumb, here.

Before my tenth drink was in my hand the bartender was telling me and some other patrons jokes and I was giggling nonstop. Me. Big, muscular, tusked, bitchy me was giggling like a teenaged girl or something. A few minutes into my tenth drink, I wound up at a table staring soulfully into my liquor and dealing with a cigarette that seemed to be willfully  more complex than a cigarette ought to be.

A woman sat down across from me. Hallucination? Nope.

She was a Nalisk, a gorgeous Nalisk. Tiny little thing compared to me - only about five foot three, if that. Her skin was the most gorgeous, pure midnight black and the smoothness… shit, it looked like silk. To make things worse, her lips were done up the same red as her incredibly revealing, tight dress that left so little to the imagination I'm pretty sure we were intimate before I was consciously aware of her presence.

The second she looked at me I was smooth as fuck.

"My friend died and I'm laughing because he raised me and I'm actually terribly depressed," I told her.

See?

Smooth.

She looked like she didn't know what to say, so I apologized and held out my hand.

"Captain Maddie Winter of the Winter Saber. Pleasure t'meet'cha."

"Andrea Onis, employee of the bar who just got off work. You're the first Salk I've seen come in here in a long time," she replied, shaking my much larger hand.

We talked. I won't go into detail. It wasn't much interesting. I cried to this woman I just met about my dead friend/father figure. She told me about the bar, a bit. Mostly she just listened, comforted. She was just nice. And pretty. Big golden eyes and those lips, my god. She smoked too, and I love that in a lady and…

"Listen, I'm drunk, but… do you want to go have sex?" I asked. "Like, is there a private room? Are you that kind of employee? I can pay."

"You… don't have to pay. But yeah, follow me. I'm in the mood."

I should have been suspicious. No one puts up with that shit for that long then just agrees to sex for free. But I was lonely and desperate and depressed and tired of vibrators. We wove our way through the bar to the back hall, and then moved down that hallway to the back room. She shut the door behind me, and locked it, and that worried me.

"You need to listen to me when we're done," she whispers as soon as the door is shut. "We'll have time then."

"Sure, whatever you want," I slurred. "I'm gonna pick you up now, cause you're tiny… then I'm going to kiss you."

I thought maybe she had a pained expression on her face, but she said I could, so I did. I pinned her to the wall and kissed her like it was the end of the world.

Again, I'm not going into details. I… we had sex. What I remember of it,  it was good sex. She has talented hands, I guess. Maybe when I'm sober some time I'll see if she's up for a romp again, who knows?

I know I sort of got lost, mentally. I checked out. I needed to. I hadn't really taken a step back since I got the news Elliot died and I just… I let her do what she wanted to me and make me do what she wanted to her. It was peaceful, slow, and relaxing.

When I came to, she was pacing beside the bed with a cig in her mouth and I was still wearing my shirt and bra, but they were pushed up under my chin and out of the way. I stared confusedly at my dark green nips for a second then tugged my bra and tanktop down and got up to look for my pants.

"Listen, you need to leave. I sent a message to a friend who will make a distraction, but you have to go," she told me then. I stared at her, buck naked and badly in need of a shower mostly for my lower half.

"Uh… I'm still kinda boozed up, lady. I'm not even sure I know your name. Wanna start there?"

She glared at me.

"Listen! I was supposed to drug you, and then leave the room when I was done. They'll come check soon. If you leave within the next few minutes, you should make it out alive."

Now, I was confused. One, because I didn't remember her being a redhead, and two because of the massive amounts of 'huh?' going on in my headspace.

"… so… you guys… drug people and steal their organs? I got two hearts, you know."

She stomped up to me, buck ass naked and cute as can be.

"I'm a slave. They rob people, usually killing them. I'm talking a full DnA, printing, and neural sweep for your bank codes. But you… aren't like a lot of the rich folk who come in here. We had you marked the second you parked that massive cruiser at the docks but you're nice. You're real nice. I don't want you to die, okay?"

So that was a big 'well, shit' moment.

I had to do some thinking, so I found my pants and panties and got those on, then lit a cigarette quick. My laser pistol was sitting on the table by the door, waiting for me.

I needed crew though, and she just… looked sad. I remembered that odd look then, right before we banged. That weird sad look. A slave. She didn't want to do that. I mean, no one screws like that without wanting too, but I still felt guilt.

"I need crew, lady. I'll take your ass out of here if you want. Give you cash to get on your feet if you want, too. Freedom and all that."

"Maddie, my only real skills are fucking, cleaning, and bartending."

That gave me pause.

But I ain't a fan of a lack of freedom.

"Ship's got a bar. You can tend that. Clean stuff. Look, I apparently ain't got much time so uh… how about a decision?"

She told me she couldn’t. They had her implanted with a proximity poison delivery implant.

But I'd done a supply inventory with Marty while we waited for the Compression Beacon to do its charging thing. I knew what my dad's pirate ship had on it.

"I got a class five med bay on my ship with a pretty damned nice auto-doc, and antidotes for nearly every poison that exists. My dad was… was a pirate. Look, come with me, please."

She thought about this a second and then grabbed for her underwear and worked them on. Cute little lady doesn't even need a bra, really, but she wears one.

When I headed out the door and peeked down the hall through into the bar, I was pretty damned sure I saw a full blown lasers and broken bottles barfight and was kind of sad I was missing it but my new friend grabbed my hand and tugged me down the hall to a stock room, quickly. Once inside, she hurried across to another door and we emerged into an access tunnel. As much as I'd have loved to let her be slow, I holstered my las pistol and scooped her up then started running with her direction.

That's about the time I began to feel a teensy bit nervous.

I'd shot precisely two people in my life and I didn't kill either of them. There was a cold, quiet dread in my gut that told me however that I was gonna be shooting someone dead pretty damned soon.

We emerged onto the insanely crowded area and out of a communicator jamming field I had no idea was present. Immediately, it was ringing. I set the woman down, grabbed her hand, and started walking. Then I answered the call.

"Uh… Captain, we got ourselves a bunch of shifty looking dudes gathering in the hub outside our ship. You want me to uh… get them out of the way?" he asked.

"Yeah, I pissed some guys off by not being easy to kill and stealing a slave. I guess they already know. Do what you gotta," I answered, tucking the phone in my pocket. They knew I had her already, see. Distraction lasted just long enough for us to get into a crowded place.

I was going to have to play the game like the poor little space dock rat I was as a kid on account of paying for shit taking time. There were so many vendors it wasn't hard. We passed a souvenir shop and I grabbed a hat for me and a head scarf for her. While she worked the scarf on, I tugged my jacket off and folded it, placing it under an arm. Passing through a clothing ship, I snagged a coat and quickly and near silently lased the theft detection tag off without anyone seeing, and tugged it on.

We were concealed - ish. I wasn't real comfy but we made it past the floor to the stairs. As we were heading downward, we got seen. Even the losers who were chasing us knew not to fire into a crowded area. So they just shouted and started running.

"Shit. Sorry for this, lady," I muttered, grabbing her and throwing her over my shoulder. She struggled, no doubt uncomfortable, but I had no time. I ran like hell, glad that I used the exercise area on the cargo ship every damn day before we left on the Saber. My legs are long and I'm tall, so I go fast. The problem is that I'm wide too, so I tend to bump into people when I run in a crowd.

Long and short of it is, I made it to the docking hub. The second I entered, I realized everyone was backed out of the way or just plain gone and there was a group of goons waiting. Most of them were Nalisk, but there was a Zeztin and a Sholin as well. Immediately, without thought, I started firing. My las pistol was built from the ground up by Marty. It's fast, accurate, and damn does it do damage.

It's also ever so slightly illegal considering the overcharge system and the fact that if I pin the trigger down it fires one of the six laser rods at a time, cycling and raising cooling fins off the sides and bottom so I could keep firing.

I know I killed three men near immediately before diving behind a couch and fumbling in my coat pocket for a rapid cooling canister. The high pressure cooling gas forced through the weapon when I slotted the canister in and then vented out the side, giving me lots of time to deal with more opposition.

Like the assholes chasing us.

A tap on the side brought up the hologram sight. With careful aim I squeezed off shots at everyone who rounded the corner. If Marty didn't find a way to help me, I was going to do that dying thing and I knew it and it couldn't end there. The adrenaline was intense, unbelievable.

I didn't. As a few more men and women and androgynes fell dead, I heard the enormous crackling sound of a Neural Stun system. There was a bright flash behind the chairs we used as cover.

I popped up immediately, and a laser struck a glancing blow on my arm. I couldn't even feel the pain. I was so high on adrenaline and endorphins and…

The bug was still standing. His carapace was a different color than Elliot's, but I still hesitated until he shot me through the damned chest. I dropped to a knee and emptied the laser at it, gasping for breath. Fucker missed my heart, but breathing was hard.

I grabbed the chick, then, cause everyone else was unconscious , and I ran. She stumbled along, half dragged. I couldn't lift my arm to fire behind us so I slowed long enough for her to take the pistol and start shooting behind us. The drone was already following us at speed, so she had to kind of shoot around it. To her credit, she took her time and did her best and didn't hit it. Don't think she hit anyone else either, but it slowed them down.

When we were on the ship, the drone behind us, Marty sealed the doors and blast doors from the bridge and then kicked up the maneuvering jets. We were scraping out of the clamps before they even unlocked. Thank fuck Marty paid our docking and refueling fee and all.

We kicked up our standard engines and fucked right off. I doubt if any of us will even report us. Criminals calling in the cops tends to be bad for the criminals. Slavery is universally illegal and so is robbery and all that. We probably shouldn't ever come back though, that's for sure.

Marty set it to auto-pilot, aiming the ship away from the station and carrying us at a crawl to the next compression beacon.

… I'm fine. The wound on my arm wasn't too bad, and the auto-doc was able to patch my lung up easy because they had used a focus laser. All I could see while lying numb on the operating table next to the slave was… was the bug I shot.

She's unconscious. Will be for a few days. It was… uh…

Well, it was major surgery.

I shouldn't be moving either, but I can't lie still. Every time I close my eyes I see that bug, and the other men I killed. 

Sure, they were gonna kill me. I'm a realist. I ain't exactly trying to find guilt in what I did.

But guilt is present nonetheless.

I'm sitting here recording this in the chilled hold, staring at Elliot's face while on a hover chair.

I'm going to get you home, buddy. I know your people believe to truly be put to rest you must be cremated on your planet. I'll get you your rest, my old friend. I'm…

I'm frightened.

Elliot, I'm not sure what to do without you to consult.

Not sure what I'll become.

Morals have never been my strong suit.

… I'm sorry if I disappoint you with my actions.

That's… that's all for now, Journal. I'll record more when… I don't fuckin' know, when interesting shit happens.

Her name is Lily… by the way…

Day One - Bug-cicle

Day One

So I guess I'm starting this journal in case I die in space horribly and someone happens upon the vented corpse filled hulk of my ship and is curious about the frozen corpses they find on it. I'm new to this journal thing, but I'll do my best.

Let's see… where am I going and why?

Where is the planet of Zeztin, across the damned universe - or so it seems. It's really far, let me put it like that.

Why…?

Well, that's a story.

It was early in the morning three weeks ago and I was sleeping in my quarters on the cargo ship I captioned previous to taking up the position of captain of the Winter Saber, my bastard father's ship. I was woken by the knock on my door. When I opened it, my engineer was standing there looking rather saddened. We've known each other for a while, Martin and I, and he's always been sort of like a little brother too me from the moment we met.

He was sad to be the messenger delivering bad news.

A childhood friend who worked in the spacedocks had been shot in a robbery. Stupid cracked egg son of a bitch had tried to take a friggin' laser to protect some lady in the store where he worked. I guess he forgot in the moment that piercing lasers exist, however rare they might be, because she went and died too.

"You gonna be okay, Captain?" he asked me as I just sort of stared at the screen displaying space out the front of the ship.

"I'm fine. Need to make some calls. Pack your things. We'll be on Eezo soon."

I ain't got no reason to lie here. As soon as he left, I cried my eyes out and then made some calls.

When we got to the Dimensional Fold Compression Generator Beacon and wormhole jumped to the Eezo beacon I already had an idea of what was coming. When we got to the docks, my friend Elliot was a corpse and I was listed as his next of kin.

He had a will. It all happened fast. A lawyer met me on my way to pick up the body.

That's when I learned that he had asked me, in his will, to take his body back to Zeztin. He wasn't a Salk, he was a Novarin - big insectoid things. Gorgeous shiny carapace, an egg layer just like a Salk, but with four legs and a sort of centaur like arrangement.

He was a sweetheart, and he was… he wanted me to take him back to his home planet. I guess childhood friend is a bad name for it. When my mom shuffled off the mortal coil, he kind of raised me. He was a teenager at the time. I learned about ships from him.

Marty was with me at the time.

I cried some more.

Then I made some calls.

Some asshole got a hell of a deal on my cargo ship and the guys working for me were out of a job. As I walked into the morgue, I was already making the call to purchase a freezer-coffin. Sure enough, it was Elliot. I made arrangements, blah blah blah.

Marty was surprised that I was… kind of rich, I guess. I'd kept my bastard father's inheritance hidden from everyone. No way I wanted folks knowing I was the kid of a space pirate, fuck that. I worked every day of my damned life from age fourteen on and I wasn't about to stop because I got some cash and a big ass ship with a mess of cannons on it. So the ship had sat in a long-term docking structure.

Well, that's that.

Elliot is a bug-cicle in the hold. Marty is in his quarters. I'm sitting on the bridge in the comfortable captain's chair that smells like dust and my dead father's apparently way too strong cologne which I found in the captain's quarters, and I'm… wondering if I'm an idiot.

But this… this is important to me, and I'm rich enough I don't need a job for a long time.

They're fuelling the ship now. Tomorrow, we go through the Dimensional Compression Fold Generator Beacon's wormhole all the way to Lozious, and from there… fuck knows.

That's all for now, Journal.

That's all I got 'cept some tears.

Winter Saber Personnel Files

//Accessing Personnel Database//

//Winter Saber Personnel List//

1.  Madeline Winter

2.  Martin Nichols

//List Full Files//

Name: Madeline Winter

Crew Position: Captain

Age: 30

Height: 3.0289 meters (Approx.)

Species: Salk'na'loa

Eye Color: Purple (striking)

Skin(x)/scale( ) color: Green (dark)

Hair(x)/Spines( ) color: Dark purple (synthetically colored, natural is white)

Additional features: Humanized Salk. Possesses breasts, reasonable size. Body is strong. Second heart present. Hips and shoulders, wide. Tusks present, small in size, jutting upwards from bottom jaw. Possesses tail.

Additional Information: Sexuality is unknown. Favorite color is purple. Favorite food is anything that is painfully spicy to most. Smokes. Likes alcohol. Doesn’t sleep much. No implants. Loves to cook.

Name: Martin Nichols

Crew Position: Engineer

Age: 26

Height: 3.112 meters (approx.)

Species: Salk'Na'Loa

Eye Color: Red

Skin(x)/Scales( ) Color: Dark blue

Hair( )/Spines(x) Color:  Red, darker than eyes

Additional Features: Less Humanized Salk. Is extremely muscular, as is common with male LH Salk. Possesses tail. Broad shoulders. Second heart present. Tusks not present.

Additional information: Sexuality unknown. Favorite color is orange. Doesn't smoke. Drinks occasionally. Possesses a beautiful singing voice. Data-Reader implant. Has a degree in engineering.

//End List//